Realms of reality of an undying scope of fate
Shedding once astuteness, my measly creation of psyche
Instances of my forlorn life I found trepidation
I watched vigilantly of someone I know,
But there’s no trace of him in a known epitome.
I’m in a mesmerizing stupor, which made no sagacity
Totaled with my battles, battles that left me to blight unaided
Blathering myself as I escape my state of consciousness
I conjured a wisp of my sweat, clothed my spirit with hope
But time revealed that it was a blunder.
I’m petrified, too terrified in my own prospects
Troubled that I will convey the same faux pas all over again
Scared stiff to be impaired, to be obliterated…
I’m always uttering what I really suffer, no one seems to heed
Or they did, but I simply disregard their lexis.
A drop of drizzle like tear fell
I’m crying myself out, but the mask I wore everyday kept me in disguise
I sought to smile, smile in the deepest of my woe
Everything is just pretension, engulfing my spirit in the shadows of Eternal emptiness
Empty as I may seem, I’m still full, full of smudge
Question…
How will I redeem myself?
How can I smile when I really feel like crying?
How can I win a battle which is design for me to lose?
How can I face reality when I’m already happy in the world of my fantasy?
How can I stop running if everything that I’m afraid of is chasing me?
How can I face the truth if I know that I can’t handle the truth?
How can I fill this empty jar?
Act of sham, to fill this masqueraded life
Credence, discernment, fallacy of who I really am
….
Demand me nothing…
Because I can give nothing…
And nothing shall I become…
For I am nothing
….
Welcome to my lonesome life….!
I’m making a voyage, to answers those query…
Sailing in this bewildered basin of seclusion
Will I forever stray or will the stars escort me the way
Drinking this cup of tea, to seal this disrupting soul of mine
Soul which is in pursuit for my real journey
Soon, my existence will ebb into ashes
And ashes to the shore in an endless wave of the ceaseless sea
I WILL still ascend up to see the sun rise
After I saw the out glorious sunset…
If you know what I mean…
Jayson L.